As World Elder Abuse Awareness Week approaches on 15-22 June, Age Concern New Zealand is shining a light on the growing number of older people reaching out for help and calling on all New Zealanders to take action through its campaign, Take the Step. You’re not alone.
Steps we can all take against elder abuse
Have you ever heard snippets of conversation like this?
“Did you hear about that old woman getting fleeced?”
“I would never believe that could happen to such a lovely couple – that would never happen in our family!”
What? No? You mean it was his grandson who did that to him?
When a family member or a neighbour raises a topic like this, it may seem like gossip. But it may also provide a stepping stone to raising a sensitive topic about harm to older people. After all elder abuse is usually hidden.
Older people don’t advertise that they are being abused and those hurting older people don’t brag about it publicly. It is because of this “behind closed doors” experience of elder abuse that we need to find ways to talk more openly in our society, in our communities, and in our families.
Because older people experience abuse and neglect mainly within family contexts, there is even more reason to talk about it with our relatives - and seldom easy to start a conversation about.
That is why such comments that draw on the experience of other seniors can be one way to move on from the gossip angle to opening out the issues that sit behind it. Often another’s experience encourages an older person to recognise it could be happening in their own lives as well. After all, having a hunch that something isn’t going right may have been felt for some time, yet choosing to raise it can be challenging. That is where using an opportunity from the topic being raised by others can be helpful.
Expressing concern for how another older person has been affected, is one way any of us can voice that we have worries of our own about the same issue. If an older person can express concern about ‘the woman who was fleeced’ or ‘the lovely couple’, this can open avenues to express more about what is happening for them.
A generation who learned about "stranger danger"
For the generation who learned about “stranger danger” as children, by the time they were adults more attention was on abuse of children from people they knew rather than strangers. When ‘elder abuse’ was first discussed last century, the focus was on residential care situations but now abuse of older people is more commonly understood as occurring within family situations. For this reason, older people too need to talk about what ‘elder abuse’ could mean within their own whānau/family situation, and for their concerns not to be minimised, dismissed or laughed at.
“Preventing elder abuse is a shared responsibility. When more people take the step, whether it’s reaching out, noticing, or offering support, we create safer communities for older people across Aotearoa New Zealand,” says Karen Billings-Jensen, Chief Executive of Age Concern New Zealand.
In some families and in some cultures having regular “family/whānau/ainga meetings” is the norm where discussion of family needs, and planning of events are discussed. Such meetings enable older family members to raise concerns about abuse. All relatives hear the same worries being expressed, and agreements can be made to ensure it stops and have older relatives safe. This works in family settings where discussing topics is the norm as everyone gathered is prepared to listen and respect questions raised.
In other families, gatherings with older people may be for birthdays or Christmas and during these celebrations serious topics are seldom raised. Yet this may feel like the most appropriate opportunity to talk when having all the loved ones together. Older people beginning by ‘thanking family for all coming for the birthday’ can be the positive start, before giving the reason of wanting to raise the worries and ask for support.
Nowadays there are more families who a spread across different regions of the country or have some members overseas, but increasingly families have found on-line ways of talking and sharing family news through ‘Messenger’, ‘WhatsApp’ or ‘Facetime’ groups. These too, give opportunities for an older person to signal if “things don’t feel right” in a written or verbal message to all their family and ask for support. Sometimes these help family groups to keep discussing how they can work together to support their older relatives through an abusive episode.
When raising a topic within a group family setting, it can be helpful if there is already at least one person who will ensure that a speaker is listened to. Within families, older people often already know which family member(s) will or will not encourage them to speak up. It can be useful to talk with one family member first, so that they are prepared to ensure that other relatives listen to the older person and follow up on the concerns expressed. Occasionally older people feel more able to start discussing their concerns within their family with the support and reassurance from an outside person/agency to help guide.
In each of these scenarios, older people are strengthened to begin talking when they have been reassured that elder abuse happens to many older people across all communities, cultures, personal identities, dis-abilities, and income levels. The more that elder abuse is known to be a factor in our country, the more that families can be open to older people raising the topic.
Just as with any other age group, when anybody’s questions about possible abuse or neglect are listened to, they are more likely to speak up. We ask everyone in our families and communities in New Zealand to encourage older people to express their concerns and ensure their right to live free from abuse.
Age Concern provides trusted support for older people being abused
In the past year, more than 3,000 older people or concerned family members were supported by Age Concern’s Elder Abuse and Neglect Prevention (EANP) services, and many more people made enquires. Each call, each conversation, represents someone taking a courageous first step towards safety, dignity, and a better life.
Elder abuse in Aotearoa New Zealand often remains hidden, but data reveals clear patterns. Age Concern’s latest figures show that 84% of harm is caused by a family member, with 49% involving an adult child or their partner, and a further 16% involving a partner. While anyone can experience abuse, 61% affected are women and 39% are men, highlighting the need to reach a support all older people.
The data shows that 73% of Age Concern cases involved psychological abuse, 31% involved financial pressure, and 22% physical abuse. Age Concern’s frontline teams work alongside older people to stop harm, restore wellbeing, and reconnect them with support networks.
Every work day, on average at least 12 older people across Aotearoa New Zealand take courageous steps, reaching out, asking for help, and seeking safety. And every day, we’re here supporting those who are there to answer.
Today, Age Concern is inviting you to take your next step with them.
By choosing to donate to Age Concern, you help reach those older people who aren’t yet ready to take that first step, so Age Concern can provide steady, life-changing support that they can rely on. Even a small donation helps ensure that all New Zealanders live with dignity and respect.
Take the step. Make sure they’re not alone.
You can support Age Concern during Elder Abuse Awareness Week - or any time of the year - by donating directly through their website, or through The Good Registry with our Good Registries and Good Gift Cards.
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